I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Less talking, more tequila
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
