He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize