Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
how drunk are you?
Several
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
