So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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