yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
