Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
