the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
