He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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