I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize