I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
