He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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