if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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