Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
we're making bets on your personal life
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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