What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize