I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
