I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize