we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
