why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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