Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
