I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
