Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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