I think I just saw someone hide a body.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
