do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
