i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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