Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
