i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
