Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The struggles of a small town man whore
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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