this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
