i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
