Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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