Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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