tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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