Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
