Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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