I smell stomach acid.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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