i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
