Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
