ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
