Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
