Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
