my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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