you would pick up someone in the library
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
