I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
