well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize