I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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