you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
