Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
