fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
