yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
