no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's blow job season.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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