oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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