Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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