I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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