Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
