i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
