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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.

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• (323): View more from California

  He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible

  (310): View more from California

  well did you say yes?

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes

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