Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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