so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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