i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I look better un-naked...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
