The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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