Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
