Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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